1. Where is God? Why can’t I feel his presence?
2. Do I not seek him enough?
He was and is here as always. I felt it more when I made time for him every morning. It required effort and lose of sleep, but it was worth the effort. My goal for 2011 is to continue making him a priority instead of an after-thought.
3. Will David have a job?
4. Will he stop dreading to go work everyday?
Unfortunately, this prayer has not been answered. It is really hard to watch your spouse struggle. Especially when he bears the weight of providing for us. We pray together that we will see God show up this year in this area. This has been our prayer for more than 3 years and David is tired. Tired of the politics, tired of uncertainty, tired of proving himself at work everyday. We know in our minds that God has a plan and that his timing is perfect, please pray that we believe it in our hearts.
5. Will we have to sell our house?
6. If we do move, where do we go, different part of Charlotte, NC, SC, GA?
6. If we do move, where do we go, different part of Charlotte, NC, SC, GA?
This prayer was answered for now. Unless David's job situation changes, were are here for the duration. We were blessed to be able to refinance our mortgage and that helped us take a step closer to making our ends meet. It feels like home again. God is good.
7. Will I have to go back to work?
This is probably the biggest blessing of 2010. The first week of January 2010, I received a call from a neighbor, out of the blue. She had heard that I did office work and wondered if I was interested in a job. Long story short, God provided me with the perfect part-time job. It is flexible enough to work around the kids schedule, but provides enough income to pay for preschool. The best part...it is right down the road (3 houses) and I get my own office AND I work for believers who show an amazing amount of love and grace. GOD IS AWESOME
8. Where will Logan go to school next fall?
10. Where will we go to church?
Both of these petitions were answered together. We really struggled with where to put Logan for Kindergarten. We were leaning towards one school and then God took the question out of our hands. We knew that CDS was good academically, but we worried that it would be too intense for Logan. But when they reduce tuition by $1500...it was an easy decision. Since we committed to CDS, we decided that we would return to Christ Covenant. The day we returned it was like coming home. One of David's favorite teachers, Richard Pratt, was speaking...and it was like he was talking directly to David. What an Ah-Ha moment.
9. Will my husband and I stop fighting?
11. Will my kids know Jesus and see him in me?
Yes, David and I are fighting less. I am not even sure why I put that in last year. Must have been a bad day. As for my kids knowing Jesus and seeing him in me...only time will tell. I feel that they have grown to know who God is and learn more about him everyday. My prayer for them came from a blog where I found the verse, John 14:15: If you love me, you WILL keep my commandments. So I pray that they will love Jesus so much that they will WANT to follow him. I also pray this for their wives and their children and children's children.
Has this year been easy? No. But life isn't supposed to be easy...that is why it is a 4-letter word :) As long as we are on this earth, there will be pain, sickness, death and sin, which is a tornado and only leaves destruction in its path. BUT GOD...enough said.
So what are my questions for 2011?
- Will God show up for David concerning his job?
- Will I continue to make God a priority?
- Will I workout more and eat healthier in 2011?
- Will we make reading a priority and turn off the TV and put down my laptop?
- Will I give up Diet Coke?
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From last year....
2010...who cares?
Everyone is so happy for the new year to come. What will it bring? What will your new resolutions be? What challenges will you overcome? What are the goals that you have set for yourself, your career, your family?
For me 2010 looks to be a continuation of 2009. I don't look forward with anticipation or excitement. Who wants to anticipate more problems, more unanswered questions, more stress. What are my New Year's resolution or goal for 2010 you may ask...to survive and to persevere...hourly and daily. To persevere means to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly, to bolster, sustain, or uphold. What other choice do I have? How do I continue in a state of grace to the end, which leads to eternal salvation. The words from the following song are so true for my life right now
“Never Alone”
I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
I don’t have answers, only questions and here are some questions I would like answered in 2010?
1. Where is God? Why can’t I feel his presence?
2. Do I not seek him enough?
3. Will David have a job?
4. Will he stop dreading to go work everyday?
5. Will we have to sell our house?
6. If we do move, where do we go, different part of Charlotte, NC, SC, GA?
7. Will I have to go back to work?
8. Where will Logan go to school next fall?
9. Will my husband and I stop fighting?
10. Where will we go to church?
11. Will my kids know Jesus and see him in me?
This is not a warm and fuzzy post. This is life, it is real, it is hard and it is messy. I know God is there, so don’t email me, just pray for me. This year I will challenge myself to find God anywhere and everywhere. I will have a better attitude. I will trust in the unseen. Come back next week, next month and next year and I will share where God shows up in our lives and maybe, just maybe, I will have some answers to my questions. We can only hope! So in answer to the question of the day 2010…who cares? I do, or I need to, because 4 people are depending on me.
Mary
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